Drop Dead Gorgeous

(1999)

Dir: Michael Patrick Jann

A documentary about a beauty pageant? What could possibly go wrong? A mockumentary you say? Oh my.

1999’s Drop Dead Gorgeous from director Michael Patrick Jann, now sadly best known for directing sketches on the extremely passable Little Britain USA, is a hilarious and criminally overlooked black comedy which charts the events from the ‘Sarah Rose Cosmetics Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant’ in small-town America.

1995’s Clueless and 1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You showed real potential for comedy in an American high school setting, but this film builds on both and takes things even further to the dark side. It doesn’t stick to the documentary format as rigidly as the films of Christopher Guest for example, with Kirsten Dunst’s character presented as the obvious heroine, whilst Denise Richard’s bitchy starlet and her over competitive mother, played by Kirstie Alley on hilarious form, are the villains.

But this mockumentary succeeds in its vast array of unusual characters, which it has no shortage of, given the sheer amount of gorgeous gals entering in the pageant. Comic standouts are future Oscar nominee Amy Adams as the innocently slutty (and horny) cheerleader Leslie and the sorely underused Tara Redepenning as the Japanese adopted Molly. There are almost too many to name, from the paedophile judge to Dunst’s alcoholic mother, but a special mention must go to Denise Richards’ rendition of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Of You’ whilst dancing with a Jesus doll on a rolling crucifix. It really is a sight to behold.

A dark and witty script, nothing is safe; not bizarre American ‘patriotism, vanity, pushy parents, nothing.

It’s a shame that Jann fell off the radar after this, because Drop Dead Gorgeous show a great deal of comic potential, which a lot of the stars went on to exploit.

*** ¾ / *****

“Bitchy is beautiful.”

...

As I tried to think of a close companion to this film I was struck by one in particular – Little Miss Sunshine. Both rip into beauty pageants by picking out the strange all-American thought propaganda that these pouting vacuous spectacles seem to emanate. I give LMS the edge for being brutally honest because there can be no doubt that it is truly creepy seeing a group of pre-pubescent girls begin to prance around like they’re a load of tiny dogs on some horribly coquettish display. However what Drop Dead Gorgeous has is a far darker, much more deliciously comic tone.

The tale is straight forward enough. The lovely Kirsten Dunst wants to escape the dead eyed – presumably mountain town although I never saw any evidence of this – of Mount Rose, Minnesota. The best way in her mind to do this is to emulate the route taken by her hero. Namely, the reputed former model and news anchor Diane Sawyer.

We get introduced to the other characters and we find out who they are from their respective interviews with a documentary crew who repeatedly break the fourth wall and who are there to film the event, for some reason.

Here we meet the excellently pouty and curvaceous Denise Richards, who plays Rebecca Ann Leeman. Probably this is Richards’ best ever performance. One that is both amusing and very sinister. Also we begin to discover a horrible truth about the character of Amber Atkins, played by Dunst. Her ADHD is so strong that it has a real grip over her entire life. The effect is she has to skip and hop around her myriad jobs with the sort of frenetic tap dancing furore of a deranged grass hopper.

So it’s a credit to everyone involved that throughout she remains a likeable character. Clearly this is a rare example of a film working on all cylinders. The acting, direction and script are all great. The story is especially well constructed, with a surprise twist that provides a great example of the film’s witty strengths. A poor decision is made on contracting a float to be built in Mexico. The presiding pastor comments on the passing of one of the characters thusly. (Spoiler)

‘And so, dear Lord, it is with deep sadness that we turn over to you this young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death. Maybe it is your way of telling us... to buy American.’

It’s with great zingers like this that the film manages to largely cut through the treacle. Indeed there is virtually no sickening sentimentality whatsoever, which is always a relief. The film is a mixture of the silly and the satirical. It comes at you with a real social comment on something that is quintessentially a part of Americana and does a commendable job of savaging it in the process. It’s only in fact the ending that riles me up a notch. It seems as if it maybe was included to put a bit of a happy spin on the events of the film. I would have preferred the bittersweet ending where having seen what has transpired at the beauty contest HQ the prospective beauty queens go mental and smash the place up. But anyway, that’s just me.

****/*****