The A-Team

(2010)

Dir: Joe Carnahan

I know little about The A-Team. The T.V. series that is, which seems to have become embedded in modern male culture like masturbation and afternoon naps. I’m familiar with the characters, but little else, so I came at Joe Carnahan’s remake of the same name from a neutral perspective.

There’s not much to say about this action flick. It really is all about the characters, which is welcome in a huge summer blockbuster. That doesn’t mean the film isn’t packed to the gills with bombastic set-pieces designed to cripple your eardrums. A tank. In the air. Flying. ‘Nuff said. The action might be loud, but it fails. Carnahan’s overreliance on CGI is the major detractor.

But forget all that, people watch The A-Team for the characters. As the 21^st Century incarnations, Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton Jackson and Sharlto Copley do a sterling job. They have enough screen presence and chemistry between them to make their scenes enormously fun.

Alternatively, the villains of the piece, led by Patrick Wilson’s shady CIA spook, are even more entertaining, mixing arrogance with incompetence, fleshing out usually predicable, throwaway roles into something more memorable.

The plot, involving some stolen U.S. Treasury plates, which Neeson’s Hannibal Smith and the rest of his boys are framed for stealing, is standard fodder. The McGuffin. The Girl. The Villain. All accounted for.

It’s the girl who throws a pouting spanner in the works. Jessica Biel is a babe, no doubt about, but her role is far too big. Her sub-plot with Bradley Cooper’s chisel-chested Faceman feels like a narrative contrivance which serves nothing but take time away from the interplay between the four leads.

Much like Batman Begins and this year’s Robin Hood, this is an origins tale, which plants the seeds for future instalments. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be enough left in the tank of this story for a Plan B.

** ¾ / *****

“I hate it when a bad movie comes together.”